Every once in a while I get this feeling...I'm not sad, I'm not happy, and I'm not in between. Im just numb. Its the most confusing and frustrating feelings ever. I feel completely alone. which is something I need to get used to because thats just the way life is...

"Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way." 

...my favorite quote from one of my favorite books White Oleander by Janit Fitch. amazing.

I slept untill 330pm today. and I only woke up because dan called me. I went to bed at 330am last night which isnt out of the ordinary for me. It was probably the xanax and vics from last night but who knows. and I could easily fall back asleep right now. I'm always tired... I really do need to get up now because I have dance soon. maybe ill have some coffee.. dance will be good for me, it always makes me feel better no matter what. Its the only thing I have a passion for anymore.