Saturday, July 31, 2010

And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear take the wheel and steer. It's driven me before, and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal. But lately I'm beginning to find that I, should be the one behind the wheel.

I believe it's time for me to take a step to help myself feel better and my friends and my mother are completely in full support of it. I just don't want to feel this way anymore.. its just been going on for so long. I get irritated so easily and take it out on the people who love me and thats so unfair cause all they want to do is help. I'll go from being so happy and hysterical laughing to staring out of a car window and end up crying. I'm scared to be alone. everything scares me. I dont exactly know what it is and I know that people have it much worse than I do. sometimes my mind races so fast I cant even understand my thoughts. I needaa do somethin about this.

I have work at 9 tomorrow morning till 5 so i decided stayed in tonight for the first time in a very very long time... I went to the beach today and had an amazing time with caitlin and jeff. I love them so much and the beach makes me so happy. i wish i could stay there forever and ever. 

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